I don't like to think I'm guilty of much, but my blogging vigor has been flagging the past few weeks as school peaked, then petered out, then vacation got underway. I'm not sure what to write, but I figure that with so much time having passed since my last decent post, there's got to be something.
So vacation so far has been amazing. I keep telling R that too. That's because I see her every day. Which is pretty much the reason why this vacation has been so wonderful. R came up to the island for Shabbos last week after finals, where, for the first time in a while, I didn't have to split my time between her and a few papers and essays. It felt luxurious. R doesn't get vacation yet at work, so the goal has been to make her time after work feel like vacation. We've seen movies, done dinner, hung out at her place and eaten chestnuts while walking through New York. I missed this. This past Monday marked a year since we first met. R says we actually met at Hillel one Friday night during my sophomore year, but I was too silly to not take a chance then and I'm glad I got another opportunity to ask her out. It's been a very good year.
Permit me to reminisce.
Last fall quarter (Northwestern is on quarters and this still mixes me up), I was living on my own in Evanston for the first time, having recently decided that although I had (and still have) a deep and abiding love for my parents, it was time for me to strike out on my own a bit. I was living in a nice apartment with some very friendly neighbors, who happened to have been friends with R for quite some time. It started off as a bit of a joke (I'm Jewish, so is R, it's a match made in heaven!), but by the end of the quarter, they were convinced we'd be a good pair and in my everlasting (and soon to be rewarded) optimism, I wished them to be right.
There was only one problem: R was in France studying abroad. I was patient, I was hopeful, and on December 15th, she flew back from Paris to Chicago, and my neighbors insisted on throwing a holiday party (in deference to the Jews), whose express purpose seemed to be to get me and R into a room together. It worked. She flew back the next morning to her home to see her parents, I stayed up all night "grading" (I was teaching a class, so this was pretty legit) and had my feet on my futon and my shades open. It had snowed a lot the night before. She came down early to take a taxi to the airport and I came out quickly to say goodbye (shyly) and then she disappeared for three weeks. But I liiiiiked her. So I friended her on Facebook (always a safe move, right?) and was too scared to write anything on her wall or send her any messages. Ah well.
A month later she came back and we started to find ways to see each other. We'd bump into each other in line getting a drink or something for lunch so we could talk alone for a few minutes before we joined our other friends to share lunch. We'd go to movies with our friends, but made sure we were next to each other. I had a party at my apartment for a friend of mine after he finished the MCAT (a party-worthy occasion if there ever was one) with the hope that she would come. She was the first there and the last to leave. I don't remember how many people were there, but she was.
Our first full-fledged date was January 25th. We saw Juno. I bought the tickets and she brought the snacks. Cut up fruits and ants on a log (not real ants, nor real logs, but still yummy). Slowly, the other friends stopped coming to movies, we'd pretend to split up after lunch with friends, only to meet up again in 5 minutes for coffee alone. Then we stopped making excuses and started dating. It's been wonderful ever since.
I don't quite remember (or want to remember) what I did before me and R were together and I can't really imagine what I would do without her. It's been the best year of my life and the reason is her.
I have more to tell later, about the study section that made me reconsider (once again) what I want to do with my life, my upcoming rotation (plant computational biology lab, anyone surprised?), and my newfound appreciation for literature that does not involve science; but it's late you're all probably a little nauseous by now anyway ;-)
More soon!
December 19, 2008
December 9, 2008
A Time for Reflection
It's the end of the term and I'm about to go through the ordeal of finals (remember in grade school when the last day of a term was celebrated with cookies? why did they get rid of that?), so naturally, while I'm poring over notes, papers and problem sets, trying to figure out how to make it all come together into one easy to remember scientific axiom I can write again and again on my test to pass with flying colors, my thoughts turn to different topics. They may be somewhat pertinent, but so distant from what I should be thinking that they don't quite count towards productivity. So that's why, after almost a month of being "too busy" to write, I find myself here again.
There's plenty to write about post-finals. I went to Florida for Thanksgiving, picked rotations, saw R a lot, but somehow not nearly enough.
And tonight, when I should be going over something, anything, science-related, my thoughts turn to social habits and graces.
When I was a kid, I was quiet, shy and reserved. I picked my nose a lot (still do sometimes), read a lot of books, kept to myself. Sometime in elementary school, I had mastered reading while walking, to the point that I could read the words and see people's feet in front of me at the same time. I'd get away from the table as soon as I could to read a book. Weekends, I read. I spent time with friends too, but social situations always had a bit of melancholy. I was short, unathletic and not very funny (though I was decent on defense in basketball, it was more aggression than actual skill). So you can imagine I was a hit with everyone. But I was always nice. I could always help and I'd always find a way to. I felt useful. Like even if I wasn't good for very many other things, I could listen. I could be a shoulder.
So over the years, circumstances changed. Different intervening events shaped my life in ways I couldn't imagine until I got to where I am now. Now, I tease. When I get teased, I don't do much about it. If it's funny, I'll laugh. If it's not, I'll ignore it. I like to think people feel the same when I tease, but sometimes I just don't know.
I'm still self-conscious though. Still a little shy inside. Still very insecure in a lot of ways. Still unsure of a lot of things about my future (not R though).
So why does this come out now?
Because over the last few weeks and months, I've gotten the distinct impression that the way I've handled myself hasn't gone the way I'd hoped. I teased too much and maybe not been as sensitive as I could have been, laughed and smiled at the wrong times, cracked jokes when I didn't need to and not been serious enough when I should have been. I used to feel serious. I used to feel like a good man. I used to feel like I was doing something useful. If nothing else, I had good interpersonal skills, I could be there for people. Now I'm not sure if I've lost those feelings or if I've just taken on the role of the clown and given up a lot of the good things I knew I was for vaguer thoughts and ideas. If it weren't for R, I'd feel adrift completely.
It's not that I don't want to be able to laugh and have a good time. But when you're the only person laughing in the room, you start to feel that perhaps the joke is on you.
There's plenty to write about post-finals. I went to Florida for Thanksgiving, picked rotations, saw R a lot, but somehow not nearly enough.
And tonight, when I should be going over something, anything, science-related, my thoughts turn to social habits and graces.
When I was a kid, I was quiet, shy and reserved. I picked my nose a lot (still do sometimes), read a lot of books, kept to myself. Sometime in elementary school, I had mastered reading while walking, to the point that I could read the words and see people's feet in front of me at the same time. I'd get away from the table as soon as I could to read a book. Weekends, I read. I spent time with friends too, but social situations always had a bit of melancholy. I was short, unathletic and not very funny (though I was decent on defense in basketball, it was more aggression than actual skill). So you can imagine I was a hit with everyone. But I was always nice. I could always help and I'd always find a way to. I felt useful. Like even if I wasn't good for very many other things, I could listen. I could be a shoulder.
So over the years, circumstances changed. Different intervening events shaped my life in ways I couldn't imagine until I got to where I am now. Now, I tease. When I get teased, I don't do much about it. If it's funny, I'll laugh. If it's not, I'll ignore it. I like to think people feel the same when I tease, but sometimes I just don't know.
I'm still self-conscious though. Still a little shy inside. Still very insecure in a lot of ways. Still unsure of a lot of things about my future (not R though).
So why does this come out now?
Because over the last few weeks and months, I've gotten the distinct impression that the way I've handled myself hasn't gone the way I'd hoped. I teased too much and maybe not been as sensitive as I could have been, laughed and smiled at the wrong times, cracked jokes when I didn't need to and not been serious enough when I should have been. I used to feel serious. I used to feel like a good man. I used to feel like I was doing something useful. If nothing else, I had good interpersonal skills, I could be there for people. Now I'm not sure if I've lost those feelings or if I've just taken on the role of the clown and given up a lot of the good things I knew I was for vaguer thoughts and ideas. If it weren't for R, I'd feel adrift completely.
It's not that I don't want to be able to laugh and have a good time. But when you're the only person laughing in the room, you start to feel that perhaps the joke is on you.
November 12, 2008
Blogito Ergo Sum
I started writing this blog post Sunday night I believe and abandoned it in a glassy-eyed torpor since it was probably too late for me to be up. Then again, it's 2 AM now and here I am anyway. I think I'm getting to like this blog thing.
This past week was good. And by good I mean lazy. I think I was productive Monday and I know I wasn't productive Sunday. Tuesday, I was counting down to elections and partaking in Starbuck's and Ben and Jerry's new-found election day enthusiasm. Both were disappointments. Let me just offer a word of warning. If you ever wonder what could be bad about an ice cream flavor named "Peanut Butter Cookie Dough", let me tell you. Plenty. It's salty. I still shudder. But it was free, so it wasn't that big a deal.
R came over for election night, and while I was convinced that I would do work while we were watching the results, I was, in fact, lying to myself. It's good I'm so forgiving. There's something fascinating about realizing (or pretending) that the next four years of your life or more can be affected by this one night. I'm a fan of Barack Obama and have been following him since the primaries so I was very happy to see him win. I'm not very political though, but I will say I'm very reassured about some of my uncertainties by the way he's been handling things since the election.
I also stayed up until 3 AM reading election night coverage that night, so I spent the rest of the week paying for that. The one thing I do recall was talking a lot about picking rotations. I have it narrowed down to four (I think) after some hemming and hawing and I really should have it down to three, but that looks hopeless.
There's the plant computational biology lab, where the professor, who works for the school and the Department of Agriculture and said her lab was all about yield, yield, yield. If you've read my post from yesterday or the one from last April, you'll know I don't need to be told that twice. Then there's the lab(s) that work on genetic profiles for various diseases, including cancer and autism (I've mentioned that one before also). Then there's the more procedural lab, which is huge and has lots of opportunities, but may pigeonhole me as a computers guy, where I'll live out my days looking at increasingly cool computer screens while the world moves on around me. Lastly, there's the guy who does protein analysis with chemistry techniques (proteomics) in ways that have never really been done before. He's already done some amazing stuff that I kinda grasp and he might be interesting. Then there are the ones I don't want to rule out, but kinda have to. It's good to have to choose from options like these.
I suppose with all the uncertainty, I'm lucky enough to realize that my thesis project isn't set in stone as what I do for the rest of my life. One of the professors (the proteomics one) used to be a plant biologist and never had any PhD chemistry study...and look where he is now. My supervisor at my old job was very helpful when he said it's not worth banking on technology you have now to carry your career for 20 or 30 years at least when that technology will be gone in 10. Oddly enough, one of the lessons I've already learned in getting a biology PhD is that the key to succeeding is evolving. So while I may work on this stuff for the rest of my life, I might also be doing something completely different. And I'm alright with that.
Today was a good way to wind down from last night's all-nighter. I napped between and after classes, then gave myself the night off (from when I woke up at 8:15 PM). Knowing that time off is invaluable, I headed to the kitchen and made myself some stir fry. An hour and a half later (the prep was loooooong), I had some lovely chicken/broccoli/green pepper/mushroom stir fry with a soy sauce and mirin. Yum. And I have enough for me and R when she comes to visit this weekend. If there's one thing I got out of this summer, it's that you don't have to be afraid of cooking. Once you do it enough, you get a sense of what should go in a dish and what shouldn't and it just works out. You also learn neat little tricks along the way, like how to blanch broccoli and how to get chicken in stir fry to look like those tender white chunks you see in commercials. It's easy. And yummy. And after making about a stir fry a week over the summer, I can safely say that I'll eat what comes out of my frying pan (no wok yet :( ) and I'll probably be happy. Plus, cooking with the people you love (me and R usually spend some portion of every weekend cooking one thing or another) can be especially rewarding. Especially when said person is R.
When I think about cooking, I think about how great it would be to have a garden with all my herbs. Then I think it would be so great to work in a lab where I get to do that for a living. Then I wonder if I want to take a hobby and turn it into a job. Then I wonder if I'd need to heat up the stir fry if I go down now to have some more. Then I realize it's time to pack it in for the night, because I'm tired.
Side note: thanks to everyone who reads this blog and I'm really touched. Also, please please please comment. I'd really like to hear what you guys think about what I write hear. It doesn't even have to be clever or witty! Lord knows I'm not...
This past week was good. And by good I mean lazy. I think I was productive Monday and I know I wasn't productive Sunday. Tuesday, I was counting down to elections and partaking in Starbuck's and Ben and Jerry's new-found election day enthusiasm. Both were disappointments. Let me just offer a word of warning. If you ever wonder what could be bad about an ice cream flavor named "Peanut Butter Cookie Dough", let me tell you. Plenty. It's salty. I still shudder. But it was free, so it wasn't that big a deal.
R came over for election night, and while I was convinced that I would do work while we were watching the results, I was, in fact, lying to myself. It's good I'm so forgiving. There's something fascinating about realizing (or pretending) that the next four years of your life or more can be affected by this one night. I'm a fan of Barack Obama and have been following him since the primaries so I was very happy to see him win. I'm not very political though, but I will say I'm very reassured about some of my uncertainties by the way he's been handling things since the election.
I also stayed up until 3 AM reading election night coverage that night, so I spent the rest of the week paying for that. The one thing I do recall was talking a lot about picking rotations. I have it narrowed down to four (I think) after some hemming and hawing and I really should have it down to three, but that looks hopeless.
There's the plant computational biology lab, where the professor, who works for the school and the Department of Agriculture and said her lab was all about yield, yield, yield. If you've read my post from yesterday or the one from last April, you'll know I don't need to be told that twice. Then there's the lab(s) that work on genetic profiles for various diseases, including cancer and autism (I've mentioned that one before also). Then there's the more procedural lab, which is huge and has lots of opportunities, but may pigeonhole me as a computers guy, where I'll live out my days looking at increasingly cool computer screens while the world moves on around me. Lastly, there's the guy who does protein analysis with chemistry techniques (proteomics) in ways that have never really been done before. He's already done some amazing stuff that I kinda grasp and he might be interesting. Then there are the ones I don't want to rule out, but kinda have to. It's good to have to choose from options like these.
I suppose with all the uncertainty, I'm lucky enough to realize that my thesis project isn't set in stone as what I do for the rest of my life. One of the professors (the proteomics one) used to be a plant biologist and never had any PhD chemistry study...and look where he is now. My supervisor at my old job was very helpful when he said it's not worth banking on technology you have now to carry your career for 20 or 30 years at least when that technology will be gone in 10. Oddly enough, one of the lessons I've already learned in getting a biology PhD is that the key to succeeding is evolving. So while I may work on this stuff for the rest of my life, I might also be doing something completely different. And I'm alright with that.
Today was a good way to wind down from last night's all-nighter. I napped between and after classes, then gave myself the night off (from when I woke up at 8:15 PM). Knowing that time off is invaluable, I headed to the kitchen and made myself some stir fry. An hour and a half later (the prep was loooooong), I had some lovely chicken/broccoli/green pepper/mushroom stir fry with a soy sauce and mirin. Yum. And I have enough for me and R when she comes to visit this weekend. If there's one thing I got out of this summer, it's that you don't have to be afraid of cooking. Once you do it enough, you get a sense of what should go in a dish and what shouldn't and it just works out. You also learn neat little tricks along the way, like how to blanch broccoli and how to get chicken in stir fry to look like those tender white chunks you see in commercials. It's easy. And yummy. And after making about a stir fry a week over the summer, I can safely say that I'll eat what comes out of my frying pan (no wok yet :( ) and I'll probably be happy. Plus, cooking with the people you love (me and R usually spend some portion of every weekend cooking one thing or another) can be especially rewarding. Especially when said person is R.
When I think about cooking, I think about how great it would be to have a garden with all my herbs. Then I think it would be so great to work in a lab where I get to do that for a living. Then I wonder if I want to take a hobby and turn it into a job. Then I wonder if I'd need to heat up the stir fry if I go down now to have some more. Then I realize it's time to pack it in for the night, because I'm tired.
Side note: thanks to everyone who reads this blog and I'm really touched. Also, please please please comment. I'd really like to hear what you guys think about what I write hear. It doesn't even have to be clever or witty! Lord knows I'm not...
November 11, 2008
Feeling Human Again
I pulled an all-nighter last night and this post was going to be all about how great it is when you push hard and give something your all and it actually works out for you. I have a problem set due Thursday that I hadn't started as of 8:30 PM yesterday and now I have 2 questions left of 19. So there you have it, yay all-nighters.
When I have the chance, I like to read the NY Times front page. It's part of what I do while I slog through science papers and classes to remind me that I'm still human and that things are going on outside my little bubble. Up until last Tuesday, my news time was all about the elections. Now that it's all over and Bush is handling himself like a gentleman and Obama seems to have himself more or less in order, there's a lot less to read on that front. So I get to read about the real world instead. The real world isn't doing so hot.
Last April, in my first post on this blog, I wrote about how biofuels were inflating prices of basic cereal grains that people in Third World countries rely on to sustain themselves, so while there's plenty of grain to go around, it's too expensive for poor people to get enough of and it's too expensive for food organizations to purchase enough of for those people. So far as I know, that hasn't changed.
Imagine my heart-break today when the headline for the Times reads:When the Cupboard Is Bare . Apparently the economy has gotten so bad in parts of these United States that food pantries, food banks and soup kitchens are struggling to feed the people who come through their doors, if they're still open. People with jobs and kids can't afford to put food on the table and pay rent, even with food stamps, and have to figure out ways to scrape by. According to the figures quoted in the article, 35.5 million people don't always have enough to eat and 10.1 million people often go to bed hungry. One in three households will have someone go hungry sometime this year because there wasn't enough money for food. Many people who do contracted work such as plumbers or electricians haven't seen a decent paycheck in months and don't know when they'll see one again.
Personally, I've never gone to bed hungry if I wasn't too tired to eat. My family might have struggled in years past to pay the bills and balance the budget, but my parents always put food on the table. It's shocking that now, some people can't even have that.
It might seem quaint, but people do deserve the basics. That means food, warmth and shelter. When a society fails them in that most basic sense, something is wrong. Hopefully it's just the economy, but if it's not, I'm hoping the "Change that's coming to America" gives that back to these people.
When I wrote last April about the way biofuels were affecting world food prices, it was a step in a direction that I'm still exploring. Increasing crop yield is an important step in making sure people have enough to eat. And I'd be remiss if I didn't even give a try at helping out in that regard. But this is a little different.
I pulled an all-nighter last night and when I got home, I had a hot shower and hot meal. It seems now that's a commodity for far too many people. So this year, and this upcoming holiday season, help feed a family. If my words count for anything, it's worth more than a new iPod or iPhone or whatever new gadget there is out there anyway.
When I have the chance, I like to read the NY Times front page. It's part of what I do while I slog through science papers and classes to remind me that I'm still human and that things are going on outside my little bubble. Up until last Tuesday, my news time was all about the elections. Now that it's all over and Bush is handling himself like a gentleman and Obama seems to have himself more or less in order, there's a lot less to read on that front. So I get to read about the real world instead. The real world isn't doing so hot.
Last April, in my first post on this blog, I wrote about how biofuels were inflating prices of basic cereal grains that people in Third World countries rely on to sustain themselves, so while there's plenty of grain to go around, it's too expensive for poor people to get enough of and it's too expensive for food organizations to purchase enough of for those people. So far as I know, that hasn't changed.
Imagine my heart-break today when the headline for the Times reads:
Personally, I've never gone to bed hungry if I wasn't too tired to eat. My family might have struggled in years past to pay the bills and balance the budget, but my parents always put food on the table. It's shocking that now, some people can't even have that.
It might seem quaint, but people do deserve the basics. That means food, warmth and shelter. When a society fails them in that most basic sense, something is wrong. Hopefully it's just the economy, but if it's not, I'm hoping the "Change that's coming to America" gives that back to these people.
When I wrote last April about the way biofuels were affecting world food prices, it was a step in a direction that I'm still exploring. Increasing crop yield is an important step in making sure people have enough to eat. And I'd be remiss if I didn't even give a try at helping out in that regard. But this is a little different.
I pulled an all-nighter last night and when I got home, I had a hot shower and hot meal. It seems now that's a commodity for far too many people. So this year, and this upcoming holiday season, help feed a family. If my words count for anything, it's worth more than a new iPod or iPhone or whatever new gadget there is out there anyway.
November 4, 2008
This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I've been a little delinquent in my self-imposed once-a-week post-a-thon (putting dashes between words is addictive...), but happily, I'm back, well-rested (see?) and ready to start cannily letting details of my life slip out online.
There's been a very good reason, you see. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my grad school program, I only have four months of classes, whereas I believe most programs have between 1-2 years of classes. The logic is fairly good--I'm not going to be done learning forever once classes are finished here in grad school, at this point the premium is on knowing how to learn new things rather than polishing a few last details before I let my grad school knowledge get fossilized over time. Affectionately, this part of the program has been called a proving ground. Less affectionately, we may call it boot camp. In our darkest moments, which sadly can be fairly frequent, it seems like hell. Needless to say, it's not easy.
The past few weeks have been focused on neuroscience. "Neuroscience" is a very broad field encompassing topics like electric circuits, cell biology, cell signaling, physiology, systems biology, genetics and something some people like to call "neuroeconomics", among others. I didn't know it was a word either. Suffice it to say, my head's been in a lot of places. I've cursed the school, the class, the homework, the teachers and almost anything else (except of course, R) all under my breath. I've also learned to reserve judgment now more than ever. Because at the end, I actually think I understood a lot of the class. And enough to pass as well.
One of the things you get to see a lot of in classes here is what I'd like to call "science personalities". There are plenty of us grad students, post docs and professors (our numbers dwindle as you climb the ladder though I think) who are fairly normal. Then there are others. I like to think their "quirks" stem from having been the smart kid all through school, always having the right answers in class, getting good grades throughout school and generally cruising, because let's face it, they're brilliant. I exclude myself from their company because in my honest opinion, there have been times and there will always be times when I will be way off, from college math and physics to who knows what in the future. These people are in fact nice people, good people, but might have very different values than me. I recall one professor who described his good days as: "You come in, you kill an animal, let it sit (or whatever it is you do to a rat before you harvest its brains), go to lunch, get your slices, kill another one and do some tests". He thought it was great. I have nightmare visions of poor mice being chained to walls in dark dungeons with no food or water (this sometimes is actually the case) and then being killed while no one looks on. Think of Russian gulags. Again, these people aren't bad people, not mean-spirited or anything. They just think of things differently than I (and others like me) might. So I'm happy I got to think about it, learned to appreciate the professors for who they are and what they do, learned to separate the person from the (sometimes anti-social) attitude and got to learn about brains in the mean time. Braaaaaaains!
This is also the time of year when I have to start thinking about which labs to rotate through as I get to the research part of grad school. If you haven't guessed from the above paragraph, my interest in performing research on animals is precisely none. Which is why in writing to my adviser to discuss mentors, I had this paragraph:
I completely understand the value and applaud the people who do this research responsibly. But I'm a kid who used to cry when my parents killed a mosquito or a moth or an ant. I cringe when I see road kill. Papers that talk about killing mice or flies make me cringe. A week ago, I was reading a neuroscience paper and I glossed over a sentence talking about how a mouse was killed for some experiment. When you gloss over a death, you've crossed a line. I chose to step back. In my mind, you have to be damn sure when you're sacrificing a living animal for research. Damn sure. And IF I ever reach that point, I'm going to use those animal models carefully and sparsely. So this is why I'm a computers type of guy when it comes to biology. I certainly see my horizons expanding and I definitely do want to be able to carry hypotheses from the computer to a practical application, but it's gonna be a long and winding road. And hopefully one that doesn't involve any killing of anything.
In lighter news, R and I went to a cousin's wedding this weekend. It was a pretty calm affair, morning wedding, good food, plenty of family and of course, time with the loveliest woman I know. R got to meet more of the family, she likes them, they like her, so all is good. My aunt told my parents that she's a keeper. While I value my aunt's opinion (she happens to be very smart), this is not news to me. We're visiting her parents for Thanksgiving, so hopefully the good news can be reciprocated.
After the wedding, we drove my brother and his wife back to the heights, went back to R's hood (which is awesome), got a lap desk to keep my lap from burning when I sit the computer on it, got a Steinbeck to keep my brain from overflowing with scientific jargon, and watched The Office on R's Tivo. Okay, her roomie's Tivo, but still. It's way better than Hulu. I'd been kicking around the idea of going into plant biology for a while, when it occurred to R and I (okay, really it occurred to R, who then told me . . . she is my second and better brain) that we'd like to have a good life and I have what is considered a "shit ton" of student loans (that is the term I believe), so I'd better make sure that whatever I'm getting myself into, it doesn't pay too badly. Of course, R's plans involve me and a successful and rewarding career in law, so who knows, maybe I get a sugar momma. And the thought of a real honest to god herb garden is damn tempting.
There's been a very good reason, you see. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my grad school program, I only have four months of classes, whereas I believe most programs have between 1-2 years of classes. The logic is fairly good--I'm not going to be done learning forever once classes are finished here in grad school, at this point the premium is on knowing how to learn new things rather than polishing a few last details before I let my grad school knowledge get fossilized over time. Affectionately, this part of the program has been called a proving ground. Less affectionately, we may call it boot camp. In our darkest moments, which sadly can be fairly frequent, it seems like hell. Needless to say, it's not easy.
The past few weeks have been focused on neuroscience. "Neuroscience" is a very broad field encompassing topics like electric circuits, cell biology, cell signaling, physiology, systems biology, genetics and something some people like to call "neuroeconomics", among others. I didn't know it was a word either. Suffice it to say, my head's been in a lot of places. I've cursed the school, the class, the homework, the teachers and almost anything else (except of course, R) all under my breath. I've also learned to reserve judgment now more than ever. Because at the end, I actually think I understood a lot of the class. And enough to pass as well.
One of the things you get to see a lot of in classes here is what I'd like to call "science personalities". There are plenty of us grad students, post docs and professors (our numbers dwindle as you climb the ladder though I think) who are fairly normal. Then there are others. I like to think their "quirks" stem from having been the smart kid all through school, always having the right answers in class, getting good grades throughout school and generally cruising, because let's face it, they're brilliant. I exclude myself from their company because in my honest opinion, there have been times and there will always be times when I will be way off, from college math and physics to who knows what in the future. These people are in fact nice people, good people, but might have very different values than me. I recall one professor who described his good days as: "You come in, you kill an animal, let it sit (or whatever it is you do to a rat before you harvest its brains), go to lunch, get your slices, kill another one and do some tests". He thought it was great. I have nightmare visions of poor mice being chained to walls in dark dungeons with no food or water (this sometimes is actually the case) and then being killed while no one looks on. Think of Russian gulags. Again, these people aren't bad people, not mean-spirited or anything. They just think of things differently than I (and others like me) might. So I'm happy I got to think about it, learned to appreciate the professors for who they are and what they do, learned to separate the person from the (sometimes anti-social) attitude and got to learn about brains in the mean time. Braaaaaaains!
This is also the time of year when I have to start thinking about which labs to rotate through as I get to the research part of grad school. If you haven't guessed from the above paragraph, my interest in performing research on animals is precisely none. Which is why in writing to my adviser to discuss mentors, I had this paragraph:
. . . I'm realizing that I don't feel comfortable with the idea of using animal models for research. While that doesn't mean I won't work in a lab that uses animal models, I'd want to have some certainty that the models are used sparsely and with high confidence of getting good results.Also, not mentioned explicitly, is that I will never be the one dissecting, killing or generally coming near them. I want to keep my distance. I've talked to people about how they cope with handling animals in research (including a vegetarian who works in a mouse lab) and it seems to me like the people who are bothered by sacrificing an animal for research do find solace either in the fact that these mice are bred for research purposes and for the fact that this is in fact for a greater good. The research they do now on mice could lead to untold scientific advances that help humanity, the earth, other animals, and hopefully mice too.
I completely understand the value and applaud the people who do this research responsibly. But I'm a kid who used to cry when my parents killed a mosquito or a moth or an ant. I cringe when I see road kill. Papers that talk about killing mice or flies make me cringe. A week ago, I was reading a neuroscience paper and I glossed over a sentence talking about how a mouse was killed for some experiment. When you gloss over a death, you've crossed a line. I chose to step back. In my mind, you have to be damn sure when you're sacrificing a living animal for research. Damn sure. And IF I ever reach that point, I'm going to use those animal models carefully and sparsely. So this is why I'm a computers type of guy when it comes to biology. I certainly see my horizons expanding and I definitely do want to be able to carry hypotheses from the computer to a practical application, but it's gonna be a long and winding road. And hopefully one that doesn't involve any killing of anything.
In lighter news, R and I went to a cousin's wedding this weekend. It was a pretty calm affair, morning wedding, good food, plenty of family and of course, time with the loveliest woman I know. R got to meet more of the family, she likes them, they like her, so all is good. My aunt told my parents that she's a keeper. While I value my aunt's opinion (she happens to be very smart), this is not news to me. We're visiting her parents for Thanksgiving, so hopefully the good news can be reciprocated.
After the wedding, we drove my brother and his wife back to the heights, went back to R's hood (which is awesome), got a lap desk to keep my lap from burning when I sit the computer on it, got a Steinbeck to keep my brain from overflowing with scientific jargon, and watched The Office on R's Tivo. Okay, her roomie's Tivo, but still. It's way better than Hulu. I'd been kicking around the idea of going into plant biology for a while, when it occurred to R and I (okay, really it occurred to R, who then told me . . . she is my second and better brain) that we'd like to have a good life and I have what is considered a "shit ton" of student loans (that is the term I believe), so I'd better make sure that whatever I'm getting myself into, it doesn't pay too badly. Of course, R's plans involve me and a successful and rewarding career in law, so who knows, maybe I get a sugar momma. And the thought of a real honest to god herb garden is damn tempting.
October 19, 2008
Chicago Love and Life in the USofA
So many things, so little attention. These last few weeks have been super hectic, between brother's wedding, High Holidays, the other Jewish holiday (I know it's a tired joke, but when you tell people that there's one more Jewish holiday after Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, they start to think you're making things up), car madness, loan madness and oh yeah, school...I'm looking forward to some peace of mind.
Luckily, the car is done. It cost way way more than I thought it would (let's just say the last post about car repairs turned out to be very optimistic), but the mechanic said it should be good for another 3 or 4 years. Loan madness goes on, but it looks like there will be some resolution (I've got some very nice people here at HR who are helping me out).
And I got $6 movie tickets for Nick and Norah (school discount :-) )!! $6 is great, the movie, however was not. I wanted to laugh more. I tried to laugh more. I was starting to annoy myself, so I just gave up.
On to the goodies.
Election season is in the air, and I've become a bit of a junkie. If you've seen my computer screen anytime since February, I'd have election news up from CNN, NY Times, The Economist, The Washington Post, and most recently, FiveThirtyEight.com. They're a little outfit, just two guys, that run daily stats on polls to give an idea of what they all mean (they favor an Obama victory by 90-some-odd percent currently) and also look at both campaign's ground games across the country.
Some context: last week, John Murtha, congressman of PA, said that while Western PA might be racist, they're still gonna go Obama. Horribly offensive and perhaps inaccurate, BUT, it does provide for some funny anecdotes:
Personally, I'm going for Big O and so is R. I don't "hate" John McCain, I just really don't appreciate the fact that, like Hillary, he is appealing to the lowest common denominator in all of us to get us to vote for him. Also, Obama seems smart enough to be practical and has a solid organization--good predictors for what he might be like in office. At least one has been in short supply these days.
And finally, a paean to Chicago and Evanston. I miss those places. Miss the restaurants, miss the people, the food, the stores, the sidewalks, miss a lot of it.
Today R and I were strolling around Huntington, the nearby town, where she was shopping for a dress for my cousin's wedding. First off, if you want to see people trying to look cool and failing, I've got some places you can look. If you can stomach it. We stopped in two stores for dresses. Fox's, a classic, proved to be a bust. Then we went to a local store, where the proprietor tried to unload a $250 dress on R (hahaha...riiiight), saying it was the cheapest prices in the town (luckily we have a car) and that if R really wanted, she could probably buy a dress for cheaper then fix it up. We think the woman was trying to be helpful, but it really didn't come off that way.
The food here, not as good (oh Ken's, Slice and Taboun); the stores here, not in walking distance or as cheap; no sidewalks. Siiiigh. I'm coming back in December for a bit, and I'm getting out of this area next June or July. I'm already looking for new places (closer to New York), any thoughts?
Luckily, the car is done. It cost way way more than I thought it would (let's just say the last post about car repairs turned out to be very optimistic), but the mechanic said it should be good for another 3 or 4 years. Loan madness goes on, but it looks like there will be some resolution (I've got some very nice people here at HR who are helping me out).
And I got $6 movie tickets for Nick and Norah (school discount :-) )!! $6 is great, the movie, however was not. I wanted to laugh more. I tried to laugh more. I was starting to annoy myself, so I just gave up.
On to the goodies.
Election season is in the air, and I've become a bit of a junkie. If you've seen my computer screen anytime since February, I'd have election news up from CNN, NY Times, The Economist, The Washington Post, and most recently, FiveThirtyEight.com. They're a little outfit, just two guys, that run daily stats on polls to give an idea of what they all mean (they favor an Obama victory by 90-some-odd percent currently) and also look at both campaign's ground games across the country.
Some context: last week, John Murtha, congressman of PA, said that while Western PA might be racist, they're still gonna go Obama. Horribly offensive and perhaps inaccurate, BUT, it does provide for some funny anecdotes:
I laughed out loud. I don't think this as a generalization to all Western Pennsylvanians, racists or anyone for that matter. But damn funny.
So a canvasser goes to a woman's door in Washington, Pennsylvania. Knocks. Woman answers. Knocker asks who she's planning to vote for. She isn't sure, has to ask her husband who she's voting for. Husband is off in another room watching some game. Canvasser hears him yell back, "We're votin' for the n***er!"
Woman turns back to canvasser, and says brightly and matter of factly: "We're voting for the n***er."
Personally, I'm going for Big O and so is R. I don't "hate" John McCain, I just really don't appreciate the fact that, like Hillary, he is appealing to the lowest common denominator in all of us to get us to vote for him. Also, Obama seems smart enough to be practical and has a solid organization--good predictors for what he might be like in office. At least one has been in short supply these days.
And finally, a paean to Chicago and Evanston. I miss those places. Miss the restaurants, miss the people, the food, the stores, the sidewalks, miss a lot of it.
Today R and I were strolling around Huntington, the nearby town, where she was shopping for a dress for my cousin's wedding. First off, if you want to see people trying to look cool and failing, I've got some places you can look. If you can stomach it. We stopped in two stores for dresses. Fox's, a classic, proved to be a bust. Then we went to a local store, where the proprietor tried to unload a $250 dress on R (hahaha...riiiight), saying it was the cheapest prices in the town (luckily we have a car) and that if R really wanted, she could probably buy a dress for cheaper then fix it up. We think the woman was trying to be helpful, but it really didn't come off that way.
The food here, not as good (oh Ken's, Slice and Taboun); the stores here, not in walking distance or as cheap; no sidewalks. Siiiigh. I'm coming back in December for a bit, and I'm getting out of this area next June or July. I'm already looking for new places (closer to New York), any thoughts?
October 6, 2008
I Hate Being A Grown Up
My dad is fond of telling me when things get difficult "welcome to being an adult". Today was one of those days.
R was over today, as usual, and we decided we would do some errands then head out for dinner to celebrate A's birthday (he's a friend of mine from back in Chicago). We try to do recycling in the town nearby, only to find out that for all it's thoroughness, they're closed on Sunday. When are they open, you ask? Well, there's Saturday/Shabbos, which doesn't help me at all, and, oh, that's right, weekdays from 9 AM to 4 PM. Because apparently, on Long Island, instead of taking lunch, one day a week, the inhabitants of Long Island go and drop off their recycling. Needless to say, this puzzled and annoyed both R and I, but we got over it and ended up dumping it in a dumpster after lugging a backseat full of trash around for an hour. Sorry environment, we owe you one.
That's only where the fun began. We went to Target. Target is dangerous. Target has a lot of stuff and fairly cheap prices (you think), so as is our habit, me and R manage to buy a little more than we intended, but no biggie. Lesson learned and all. We go to the supermarket, which I'm starting to like more and more. The guy watering the vegetables (waterboy?) could actually tell the difference between cilantro and parsley, which for the life of me, I could not do and neither could R. Also got a cake for my Grandmother, who we're spending Yom Kippur by. I want to eat it now. I'm going to try not to.
Then we get to arguably the best vegetable stand in the world. They grow almost everything there, it's all fresh, and it all lasts forever because it hasn't been sitting in a shipping container for Lord knows how long. It's also dirt cheap. We got four or five bags of produce and it cost me less than $20. That's right, less than $20. I'll be shopping there for the next four years and doing a victory dance every time I head to my car.
We bring back our booty (I use booty because it makes me feel like a pirate), which R, in her infinite thoughtfulness, unpacks and puts away so I can get started on some work. She's awesome. If my research here falls through, I will document her awesomeness and include graphs and charts and try to publish on that. I could totally defend that dissertation.
At about 5, we head out to catch the LIRR into the city for A's birthday. Now, something I didn't mention is that since I picked up R on Friday, the car had been acting funny. Not funny haha, but funny oh no. I didn't know what it was, so I chose the ostrich method of dealing with the problem--pretend nothing is wrong and keep my head in the ground. Sounded funny last night, didn't sound as bad today, until we're on our way to the station and we hit a rough patch of road (they've been repaving the roads here for the last 2 weeks...hmmmm) and my car starts shaking. And rumbling. And generally sounding like:
So tomorrow morning, I'm getting towed to the mechanic, where I will say, "Fix it!" and his eyes (or her eyes...?) will fill with dollar signs and my grad student stipend I've been saving will go to Agnes, so that she can spend a day in the shop with the Beemers and Lexi (is that plural for Lexus?) of the townsfolk. I guess it's kinda like a spa day for cars...maybe she deserves it. Then again, maybe I should save money for the future. Unfortunately, Agnes is stubborn as a mule, or a lifeless, soulless piece of metal that is slowly becoming a money pit, so she has forced my hand.
Other than that...well, High Holidays grrrr. If you're in school and you're missing class for Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur, you'll know what I mean. It's a mix of procrastination and celebration that leaves me breathlessly and barely making deadlines until the end of October. So holidays are great, but the intervening time, not so much. I have a problem set (perhaps two by the end of Monday) due by the end of the week, and I'll be fasting and praying for my soul Thursday. Funny how all that introspection can take a whole day. Eh, it was gonna be hard anyway, what's a little more pressure?
Also, for those in need of Yom Kippur humor.
Hope y'all have a great fast if you're Jewish, and if you're not, enjoy eating!
R was over today, as usual, and we decided we would do some errands then head out for dinner to celebrate A's birthday (he's a friend of mine from back in Chicago). We try to do recycling in the town nearby, only to find out that for all it's thoroughness, they're closed on Sunday. When are they open, you ask? Well, there's Saturday/Shabbos, which doesn't help me at all, and, oh, that's right, weekdays from 9 AM to 4 PM. Because apparently, on Long Island, instead of taking lunch, one day a week, the inhabitants of Long Island go and drop off their recycling. Needless to say, this puzzled and annoyed both R and I, but we got over it and ended up dumping it in a dumpster after lugging a backseat full of trash around for an hour. Sorry environment, we owe you one.
That's only where the fun began. We went to Target. Target is dangerous. Target has a lot of stuff and fairly cheap prices (you think), so as is our habit, me and R manage to buy a little more than we intended, but no biggie. Lesson learned and all. We go to the supermarket, which I'm starting to like more and more. The guy watering the vegetables (waterboy?) could actually tell the difference between cilantro and parsley, which for the life of me, I could not do and neither could R. Also got a cake for my Grandmother, who we're spending Yom Kippur by. I want to eat it now. I'm going to try not to.
Then we get to arguably the best vegetable stand in the world. They grow almost everything there, it's all fresh, and it all lasts forever because it hasn't been sitting in a shipping container for Lord knows how long. It's also dirt cheap. We got four or five bags of produce and it cost me less than $20. That's right, less than $20. I'll be shopping there for the next four years and doing a victory dance every time I head to my car.
We bring back our booty (I use booty because it makes me feel like a pirate), which R, in her infinite thoughtfulness, unpacks and puts away so I can get started on some work. She's awesome. If my research here falls through, I will document her awesomeness and include graphs and charts and try to publish on that. I could totally defend that dissertation.
At about 5, we head out to catch the LIRR into the city for A's birthday. Now, something I didn't mention is that since I picked up R on Friday, the car had been acting funny. Not funny haha, but funny oh no. I didn't know what it was, so I chose the ostrich method of dealing with the problem--pretend nothing is wrong and keep my head in the ground. Sounded funny last night, didn't sound as bad today, until we're on our way to the station and we hit a rough patch of road (they've been repaving the roads here for the last 2 weeks...hmmmm) and my car starts shaking. And rumbling. And generally sounding like:
- It's gonna blow
- I souped it up
- It will take flight, we will make it into outer space and maybe even to Mars.
So tomorrow morning, I'm getting towed to the mechanic, where I will say, "Fix it!" and his eyes (or her eyes...?) will fill with dollar signs and my grad student stipend I've been saving will go to Agnes, so that she can spend a day in the shop with the Beemers and Lexi (is that plural for Lexus?) of the townsfolk. I guess it's kinda like a spa day for cars...maybe she deserves it. Then again, maybe I should save money for the future. Unfortunately, Agnes is stubborn as a mule, or a lifeless, soulless piece of metal that is slowly becoming a money pit, so she has forced my hand.
Other than that...well, High Holidays grrrr. If you're in school and you're missing class for Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur, you'll know what I mean. It's a mix of procrastination and celebration that leaves me breathlessly and barely making deadlines until the end of October. So holidays are great, but the intervening time, not so much. I have a problem set (perhaps two by the end of Monday) due by the end of the week, and I'll be fasting and praying for my soul Thursday. Funny how all that introspection can take a whole day. Eh, it was gonna be hard anyway, what's a little more pressure?
Also, for those in need of Yom Kippur humor.
Hope y'all have a great fast if you're Jewish, and if you're not, enjoy eating!
September 29, 2008
Back and Forth
So after catching up for the past week, I can look back at my brother's wedding and say that it was great. I have yet to see the happy couple, but looking past the work that looked insurmountable on Monday (and was pretty overwhelming until, oh, about 10 PM on Thursday), it was a great time, my brother's a great guy and his wife (whoa...) is an amazing person. They'll be fun to hang out with.
To say nothing of spending the time with R (she made it into family pics too, so now you know it's serious). She was great during the weekend, the family loved her, I love her, and Tuesday night we went out for awesome Chinese food in Great Neck. I haven't been to a good Chinese restaurant since Mi Tsu Yun was a decent restaurant and I was...13? Yes, that excludes Estihana. If you've been there, you'll know why. So if you're from Chicago and miss the good old days of Chicago Chinese food...if you happen to be in Long Island, stop by Cho-Sen Village. And if you give about thirty minutes warning, you'll have one happy couple who'd love to join you.
So, as is obligatory (right?), it's the night before Rosh Hashana and I'm supposed to be in fear of my life (according to some of my HS teachers) or I can think about the life I've lived and the life I'm hoping to make for myself in the next year (that's the Evanston psak). I think this year I'll try out the latter.
This past year was great in a lot of obvious ways (amazing girlfriend, finishing college, getting into an amazing grad school, good times with family and friend generally feeling like things are going great) and in a lot of subtle ways too. I think I've finally kicked my occasional video game addiction (I hope...) and became a happier person. I get along better with the fam and I'm almost (kinda sorta if you forget my student loans...hoo boy) financially solvent. That's saying a lot in a year like this.
I'm in an amazing place now. No, not spiritually. Well, maybe that too, but I meant literally too. CSHL is inspiring. Allow me to explain. If you've met me, you might know that every once in a while, I get bothered by things that are way out of my league (the economy, Sudan, Iraq, homeless people in Evanston in New York, etc., etc.). There's just one problem--that whole out of my league thing. There's precious little I can do, save from giving a homeless person a few bucks here or there. However, I have the good fortune of being a nerd. Not just a little bit of a nerd. A lot of nerd. Sometimes I scare myself. But I can use it.
Every week, in addition to lots of science classes, we have three of the lab's professors come in and tell us about their work. I'm sure it's not surprising that a lot of them have some rather dry interests like "DNA replication". Make no mistake, this stuff is very very important and years from now, it can change the face of the world we live in, but there are also people with other interests. Like cancer or mental disorders.
One of the good doctors who came in had a research project on the genetic causes of autism, schizophrenia and depression, among other things. One of my classmates asked him a technical question which he (PI) probably overreacted to. But when he responded, you could tell he wasn't just doing this because he's curious. He's seen the suffering people go through when they have these disorders or when their loved ones have suffered through them. This wasn't an academic exercise for him--this was personal.
I don't know what I'll be doing yet (stay tuned for updates in January....), but whatever it is that I do, I hope I come out like that guy. Because I'm no economics expert, I don't have the money or the organizational skills to do something about a lot of problems that we read about and see every day, and I'm no politician or activist. But I can be a good scientist I think, so I'm gonna work with that for now. I just need to make sure I don't lose sight of the people I want to help (if I can be pretentious enough in this post to think that I'll help--we'll see).
Shana Tova (Happy New Year)
-Mitch
To say nothing of spending the time with R (she made it into family pics too, so now you know it's serious). She was great during the weekend, the family loved her, I love her, and Tuesday night we went out for awesome Chinese food in Great Neck. I haven't been to a good Chinese restaurant since Mi Tsu Yun was a decent restaurant and I was...13? Yes, that excludes Estihana. If you've been there, you'll know why. So if you're from Chicago and miss the good old days of Chicago Chinese food...if you happen to be in Long Island, stop by Cho-Sen Village. And if you give about thirty minutes warning, you'll have one happy couple who'd love to join you.
So, as is obligatory (right?), it's the night before Rosh Hashana and I'm supposed to be in fear of my life (according to some of my HS teachers) or I can think about the life I've lived and the life I'm hoping to make for myself in the next year (that's the Evanston psak). I think this year I'll try out the latter.
This past year was great in a lot of obvious ways (amazing girlfriend, finishing college, getting into an amazing grad school, good times with family and friend generally feeling like things are going great) and in a lot of subtle ways too. I think I've finally kicked my occasional video game addiction (I hope...) and became a happier person. I get along better with the fam and I'm almost (kinda sorta if you forget my student loans...hoo boy) financially solvent. That's saying a lot in a year like this.
I'm in an amazing place now. No, not spiritually. Well, maybe that too, but I meant literally too. CSHL is inspiring. Allow me to explain. If you've met me, you might know that every once in a while, I get bothered by things that are way out of my league (the economy, Sudan, Iraq, homeless people in Evanston in New York, etc., etc.). There's just one problem--that whole out of my league thing. There's precious little I can do, save from giving a homeless person a few bucks here or there. However, I have the good fortune of being a nerd. Not just a little bit of a nerd. A lot of nerd. Sometimes I scare myself. But I can use it.
Every week, in addition to lots of science classes, we have three of the lab's professors come in and tell us about their work. I'm sure it's not surprising that a lot of them have some rather dry interests like "DNA replication". Make no mistake, this stuff is very very important and years from now, it can change the face of the world we live in, but there are also people with other interests. Like cancer or mental disorders.
One of the good doctors who came in had a research project on the genetic causes of autism, schizophrenia and depression, among other things. One of my classmates asked him a technical question which he (PI) probably overreacted to. But when he responded, you could tell he wasn't just doing this because he's curious. He's seen the suffering people go through when they have these disorders or when their loved ones have suffered through them. This wasn't an academic exercise for him--this was personal.
I don't know what I'll be doing yet (stay tuned for updates in January....), but whatever it is that I do, I hope I come out like that guy. Because I'm no economics expert, I don't have the money or the organizational skills to do something about a lot of problems that we read about and see every day, and I'm no politician or activist. But I can be a good scientist I think, so I'm gonna work with that for now. I just need to make sure I don't lose sight of the people I want to help (if I can be pretentious enough in this post to think that I'll help--we'll see).
Shana Tova (Happy New Year)
-Mitch
September 22, 2008
I'm Going to Elope
Not seriously, but I entertained the idea more than once this weekend.
My brother got married this weekend to a lovely girl (Mazel Tov to the new couple :-) ) and the weekend was actually very very good. R was with me the whole time, I attempted to read papers for school, but upon finding out my workload was going to be significantly lighter than I thought it would be this week (Yay!!!), I promptly abandoned them in favor of sleep, and J got married.
Shabbos was nice too, (time spent with R + good food) x my extended family liking her = better than I expected the weekend to go. To be clear, I knew the fam would like R, but the food was a pleasant surprise.
The newlyweds look thrilled. And they can hold hands!!!! In our spare moments, R & I joked that that was the express purpose of the entire weekend--okay, half-joked.
There was one slight problem. We flew early. Early is murder. On the plus side, I have actually identified THE ungodly hour. It's 5 AM. Don't believe me? YOU try waking up then and see how you like it. Friday's flight in was a 6:30 AM flight, so naturally I didn't finish with class until about 10 PM, got annoyed with a fellow classmate and decided to head to the bar for a Duvel to calm me down. I stepped back into the house at around 10:45 PM, only to start laundry, finish laundry, pack, shower, look up and see that I have to leave for the airport in 15 minutes.
Today was better. Today I got to go to sleep at 2 AM and then wake up at 5 AM. I set three alarms and only woke up after R knocked on my door at 5:15 AM. She's clearly better than me, but at least she's patient enough to help me out.
So I'm eloping because it seems easier than asking some poor schmo and his patient and loving girlfriend (I assume there's someone like us at any wedding) to get up at ungodly hours to come and watch us hold hands. If you've seen us already, then it won't be anything new anyway.
I wonder if there's a Jewish synagogue in the Galapagos....
My brother got married this weekend to a lovely girl (Mazel Tov to the new couple :-) ) and the weekend was actually very very good. R was with me the whole time, I attempted to read papers for school, but upon finding out my workload was going to be significantly lighter than I thought it would be this week (Yay!!!), I promptly abandoned them in favor of sleep, and J got married.
Shabbos was nice too, (time spent with R + good food) x my extended family liking her = better than I expected the weekend to go. To be clear, I knew the fam would like R, but the food was a pleasant surprise.
The newlyweds look thrilled. And they can hold hands!!!! In our spare moments, R & I joked that that was the express purpose of the entire weekend--okay, half-joked.
There was one slight problem. We flew early. Early is murder. On the plus side, I have actually identified THE ungodly hour. It's 5 AM. Don't believe me? YOU try waking up then and see how you like it. Friday's flight in was a 6:30 AM flight, so naturally I didn't finish with class until about 10 PM, got annoyed with a fellow classmate and decided to head to the bar for a Duvel to calm me down. I stepped back into the house at around 10:45 PM, only to start laundry, finish laundry, pack, shower, look up and see that I have to leave for the airport in 15 minutes.
Today was better. Today I got to go to sleep at 2 AM and then wake up at 5 AM. I set three alarms and only woke up after R knocked on my door at 5:15 AM. She's clearly better than me, but at least she's patient enough to help me out.
So I'm eloping because it seems easier than asking some poor schmo and his patient and loving girlfriend (I assume there's someone like us at any wedding) to get up at ungodly hours to come and watch us hold hands. If you've seen us already, then it won't be anything new anyway.
I wonder if there's a Jewish synagogue in the Galapagos....
September 4, 2008
Power Nerds Anonymous
As I found out over the weekend and most especially over the last two days, it turns out grad school does actually involve class, homework, reading and papers. Sigh.
I finally realized I was in for a ride today at about 2:45, when I was in an academic mentorship meeting (we're supposed to pick faculty who can help us with the non-research side of grad school) with Dr. C. Dr. C is a great guy and we had a great conversation, but he's also one of the faculty who helped develop the grad school curriculum. I wish I could quote him verbatim, but what he said was something along the lines of, "We carefully titrate the amount of work you have so that while it doesn't drain your soul, if you're not careful, it can take almost every spare minute you have." (Yes he said titrate. And he's now my top choice for my mentor.)
I had a feeling this might happen.
Luckily, I have one excellent reason to stay disciplined and keep working hard, and that's R. She comes to New York Sunday and I'll be damned if the first time I see her in 3 weeks will involve me reading (or honestly, re-reading) a paper, writing a presentation or finishing a problem set.
About the same time I realized that I somehow managed to be able to study or be in class for about 10 hours yesterday and perhaps 7 or 8 today.
All biology, all the time baby. That's how we roll.
I finally realized I was in for a ride today at about 2:45, when I was in an academic mentorship meeting (we're supposed to pick faculty who can help us with the non-research side of grad school) with Dr. C. Dr. C is a great guy and we had a great conversation, but he's also one of the faculty who helped develop the grad school curriculum. I wish I could quote him verbatim, but what he said was something along the lines of, "We carefully titrate the amount of work you have so that while it doesn't drain your soul, if you're not careful, it can take almost every spare minute you have." (Yes he said titrate. And he's now my top choice for my mentor.)
I had a feeling this might happen.
Luckily, I have one excellent reason to stay disciplined and keep working hard, and that's R. She comes to New York Sunday and I'll be damned if the first time I see her in 3 weeks will involve me reading (or honestly, re-reading) a paper, writing a presentation or finishing a problem set.
About the same time I realized that I somehow managed to be able to study or be in class for about 10 hours yesterday and perhaps 7 or 8 today.
All biology, all the time baby. That's how we roll.
August 27, 2008
Avoid Boring People
Get it? It means two things! It's also the title of a book by the former president of my graduate school, The Dr.
Grad school has been an experience so far. I've been here for a week and a half, and I will say that while they treat you really well (UNBELIEVABLY well if you're a fan of mediocre Long Island pizza), you'd better be willing to work hard. And go to dinner parties. No, I'm not joking.
Our first official week of classes started off with orientation and me wishing for my car to come already. I got a fancy ID badge, a permit for my yet to have arrived car and a lease for my room. It's a great room. Cheap, comfy, furnished and when I wake up in the morning, I get a view of the Long Island Sound (a name that would probably be the best thing about whatever band decided to call themselves that). I'll try and post a picture soon. We also got new laptops! So I'm writing this entry on my brand new MacBook Pro that comes with Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, loads of scientific software, Microsoft Office and a free laptop case (they capped us at $100 and I took them at their word). This computer is easily worth about 4 or 5 months rent at my old place. We then had a welcome party at the lab's bar. If you've seen me at open bar, you'll know I always stop drinking one drink too late. This time was no different. I was tipsy (not drunk), stumbled home and napped. Lovely way to start the grad school. Tuesday they took us out for a cruise on the bay in the afternoon where we got to see Billy Joel's house (guesses on which song paid for it?) and get sunburned. I took advantage of both. Wednesday my baby (ahem, car) came and I promptly took it to Ikea to get a bookcase for my room, which did not have a place for the 6 boxes of books I shipped from home. Years from now, my wife will complain that I never throw anything out, but for now, I'll enjoy being a pack rat.
Thursday the fun began. After assembling the bookcase and napping, I cleaned myself up and headed out to a wine and cheese on the lab president's lawn (beer), then sat for dinner for an hour and a half (more beer) where a friend of mine pointed out that every course (there were three of them, enough to notice a trend) lasted exactly one half hour. Except for coffee, which lasted an hour. At 8:15, I jumped in my car, sped to my cousin's wedding just in time for the main course (steak and wine!), stayed for too long again, then got back at 1:15. I had to be up for class the next day at 9, so I set my alarm for 7:15 AM (there's only so many times I can press snooze before I just give in to the clock), got to class, got to the recycling center, which recycles styrofoam too, and then to the bank and groceries. The grocery store made me wish for home, where shopping wasn't like being in a zoo. I was hoping to join the fam in Teaneck for Shabbos, but the first year students were invited (it's worth noting that the lab "inviting" is like Don Corleone "asking for a favor"-saying no isn't really an option), to a concert and dinner at The Dr.'s house.
The redeeming thing is that the classes themselves so far have been really good (further proof I am a nerd among nerds) and everything here is gorgeous. And the other first year students are very cool. The only problem is when you're one of four Americans in a class of 15, you feel kinda bland. I might have to start faking an accent to make up for it.
Next week R comes back and it's been long enough. I miss her more than I thought I would and it looks like she's found a place to live, so when she gets to NYC, the move won't be as tough as it might have been. I'm just happy she's almost here. I'll be thrilled when I can pick her up from the airport :-)
Grad school has been an experience so far. I've been here for a week and a half, and I will say that while they treat you really well (UNBELIEVABLY well if you're a fan of mediocre Long Island pizza), you'd better be willing to work hard. And go to dinner parties. No, I'm not joking.
Our first official week of classes started off with orientation and me wishing for my car to come already. I got a fancy ID badge, a permit for my yet to have arrived car and a lease for my room. It's a great room. Cheap, comfy, furnished and when I wake up in the morning, I get a view of the Long Island Sound (a name that would probably be the best thing about whatever band decided to call themselves that). I'll try and post a picture soon. We also got new laptops! So I'm writing this entry on my brand new MacBook Pro that comes with Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, loads of scientific software, Microsoft Office and a free laptop case (they capped us at $100 and I took them at their word). This computer is easily worth about 4 or 5 months rent at my old place. We then had a welcome party at the lab's bar. If you've seen me at open bar, you'll know I always stop drinking one drink too late. This time was no different. I was tipsy (not drunk), stumbled home and napped. Lovely way to start the grad school. Tuesday they took us out for a cruise on the bay in the afternoon where we got to see Billy Joel's house (guesses on which song paid for it?) and get sunburned. I took advantage of both. Wednesday my baby (ahem, car) came and I promptly took it to Ikea to get a bookcase for my room, which did not have a place for the 6 boxes of books I shipped from home. Years from now, my wife will complain that I never throw anything out, but for now, I'll enjoy being a pack rat.
Thursday the fun began. After assembling the bookcase and napping, I cleaned myself up and headed out to a wine and cheese on the lab president's lawn (beer), then sat for dinner for an hour and a half (more beer) where a friend of mine pointed out that every course (there were three of them, enough to notice a trend) lasted exactly one half hour. Except for coffee, which lasted an hour. At 8:15, I jumped in my car, sped to my cousin's wedding just in time for the main course (steak and wine!), stayed for too long again, then got back at 1:15. I had to be up for class the next day at 9, so I set my alarm for 7:15 AM (there's only so many times I can press snooze before I just give in to the clock), got to class, got to the recycling center, which recycles styrofoam too, and then to the bank and groceries. The grocery store made me wish for home, where shopping wasn't like being in a zoo. I was hoping to join the fam in Teaneck for Shabbos, but the first year students were invited (it's worth noting that the lab "inviting" is like Don Corleone "asking for a favor"-saying no isn't really an option), to a concert and dinner at The Dr.'s house.
The redeeming thing is that the classes themselves so far have been really good (further proof I am a nerd among nerds) and everything here is gorgeous. And the other first year students are very cool. The only problem is when you're one of four Americans in a class of 15, you feel kinda bland. I might have to start faking an accent to make up for it.
Next week R comes back and it's been long enough. I miss her more than I thought I would and it looks like she's found a place to live, so when she gets to NYC, the move won't be as tough as it might have been. I'm just happy she's almost here. I'll be thrilled when I can pick her up from the airport :-)
August 20, 2008
"That's Hot"
I'm constantly amazed by how excited people seem to be about the idea of me (or anyone for that matter) getting a PhD in genetics. The title of this entry is actually a direct quote from the bank teller I happened to speak to today while I was getting a bank check for my auto transporter. I guess asking for it to be made out to an auto shipping company is a dead giveaway. Then there are people like my cousin, who remind me that in the future, I will be "minting money".
I have absolutely no clue about how or where I'll end up. Right now my long terms plans are get out of grad school (hopefully in 4 years 0:-) ), get a job and spend my life with R. That's it. If I can mint money, that's cool too. But I gotta say, the reactions I get from other people make my life seem much more exciting than it seems to me. I just like biology. I'm a nerd. If my life ends up being half as cool or successful as everyone else seems to think it will be, then party at my place in 10 years or so when things get themselves on the up and up. I'll send out an Evite--or whatever newfangled thingamabob people will be using in 10 years.
And if I sound tired or disjointed in this email, it's because I've been driving for 10 hours (7.5 or more tomorrow...yay!). Please excuse. More coherent posts will follow.
I have absolutely no clue about how or where I'll end up. Right now my long terms plans are get out of grad school (hopefully in 4 years 0:-) ), get a job and spend my life with R. That's it. If I can mint money, that's cool too. But I gotta say, the reactions I get from other people make my life seem much more exciting than it seems to me. I just like biology. I'm a nerd. If my life ends up being half as cool or successful as everyone else seems to think it will be, then party at my place in 10 years or so when things get themselves on the up and up. I'll send out an Evite--or whatever newfangled thingamabob people will be using in 10 years.
And if I sound tired or disjointed in this email, it's because I've been driving for 10 hours (7.5 or more tomorrow...yay!). Please excuse. More coherent posts will follow.
August 18, 2008
We Are Clear for Takeoff
So in my life, it seems natural for things to not hit me until the last second. Today is a perfect example. I woke up (9:30 AM woooo!) and suddenly realized, "Holy s**t, I'm moving to New York tomorrow". I have a good excuse for not really getting caught up in the idea until now. The last two or three weeks have involved a last minute trip to New York to support my lovely girlfriend R while she went for interviews in and around the city (4 job offers on 4 interviews. . . she may be smarter than me), packing, and saying goodbye to R as she headed out to visit her family in FL before she too makes the move to New York and we have to start figuring out how to continue spending all our free time together when we are about an hour further apart.
I cannot begin to emphasize how big a pain packing up is. I'm sure if you've moved, you know the feeling too. First, you think you have too much stuff and you have absolutely no interest in packing anything more than a small suitcase with some clothing and a pocketknife (just in case I get hungry). Then I start to realize little things, like how my textbooks represent countless hours of work and thousands of dollars of investment in buying them (and a small fortune to pay for college). . . maybe I should keep them. Then as I go through my closet, I realize that not ALL of my clothes are crap, so I pack most of them too. Then I decide that I really could use some new clothing, and proceed to spend ungodly amounts of money (ungodly is a relative term, for me it's in the $300+ range) on nice new clothes picked out with the help of the amazing R once again. . . which I immediately stuff into boxes. I started out thinking I could pack all my stuff into 12 or 13 boxes. It ended up being more like 18.
That--in addition to saying goodbye to R--has made the last few weeks a blur. Olympics? You mean the TV I watch when my roommate is out of the den while I'm packing? Video games? They were the bane of my existence this summer (I think there were days when I played 10+ hours), and only further proved how much R loves me (love you too!), but once I started packing, the only thing I could justifiably do was look longingly at my roommate's XBox 360, then go back to my room for more packing. At least it broke of some bad habits. On the other hand, it feels less like I'm going to graduate school than becoming a mover.
So I'm off tomorrow, maybe I can post from the road and thus starts the new adventures of Mitch. I just hope all those boxes fit in my new place.
I cannot begin to emphasize how big a pain packing up is. I'm sure if you've moved, you know the feeling too. First, you think you have too much stuff and you have absolutely no interest in packing anything more than a small suitcase with some clothing and a pocketknife (just in case I get hungry). Then I start to realize little things, like how my textbooks represent countless hours of work and thousands of dollars of investment in buying them (and a small fortune to pay for college). . . maybe I should keep them. Then as I go through my closet, I realize that not ALL of my clothes are crap, so I pack most of them too. Then I decide that I really could use some new clothing, and proceed to spend ungodly amounts of money (ungodly is a relative term, for me it's in the $300+ range) on nice new clothes picked out with the help of the amazing R once again. . . which I immediately stuff into boxes. I started out thinking I could pack all my stuff into 12 or 13 boxes. It ended up being more like 18.
That--in addition to saying goodbye to R--has made the last few weeks a blur. Olympics? You mean the TV I watch when my roommate is out of the den while I'm packing? Video games? They were the bane of my existence this summer (I think there were days when I played 10+ hours), and only further proved how much R loves me (love you too!), but once I started packing, the only thing I could justifiably do was look longingly at my roommate's XBox 360, then go back to my room for more packing. At least it broke of some bad habits. On the other hand, it feels less like I'm going to graduate school than becoming a mover.
So I'm off tomorrow, maybe I can post from the road and thus starts the new adventures of Mitch. I just hope all those boxes fit in my new place.
April 24, 2008
Uh Oh
It was bound to happen. I'm a senior at NU, I'm set for the next 4 years for graduate school and all I have to do for the next few months is NOT screw things up. So of course, that means that I have more liberties than I used to while in class. I'm a news junkie, especially for global issues and national issues (I don't like reading about celebs or fluff pieces unless they're really short).
So today, I'm in my Russian Film discussion section and we're discussing montages (thrilling) and of course, this is an opening for me to take out my laptop and start looking through the days news. Most of the stuff is election coverage, which can be interesting, but at this point, is also downright frustrating. Hillary Clinton's recent claim to be ahead in the popular vote provides the most recent example of the caricature of a good election campaign. She's wrong unless she's in her own Hillary-verse. To be honest, I've lost my patience with her and am looking forward to her being out of the picture come June (hopefully). Thankfully, The Daily Show and Colbert Report do their usual flawless job of skewering the nonsense that goes on during the election season.
That's small potatoes though. I'm not sure how I found this on Yahoo! of all place (it's still the first place I go for news), but there's a recent report from Foreign Affairs titled "How Biofuels Could Starve the Poor". The report is chilling. From what I understand of it (the authors clearly have a leg up on me), rising fuel prices have led to an increase in biofuel production. The government is providing subsidies for corn and soy grown for ethanol, which in turn encourages farmers big and small to grow the stuff. This does two things:
This is not just a problem in the US, as many countries are seeking to decrease their dependence on oil and look to biofuels using staple crops to supplement their energy. Brazil is an exception because they use sugarcane - not a staple. The problem with that is that the increased demand for the grains raises the prices, which makes it more difficult for poor people to afford those same staple foods for their own nutrition. There's already unrest and riots around the world as prices rise, throwing governments into turmoil (Haiti's food riots have led to deaths and demands for the resignation of the Prime Minister). According to the report, if prices continue to rise and governments continue to turn to staple crops to produce biofuels (i.e. corn, rice, manioc, etc.), the prices of these foods will continue to rise until by 2025, they predict that about 1.2 billion people will be considered "chronically hungry" as they are simply unable to afford the basics.
Here's the kicker. There's no great reason why we need to use corn or soy to produce biofuels. In fact, there are more efficient sources for biofuel out there that can be pursued with some research. You can use grass, trees, anything of the sort to get the same effect. So why are we using corn and soy? We have the technology, so that's easy enough. But also, surprise surprise, there's plenty of special interests in the way of corn and soy growers and Archer Daniels Midland. Special interests pervade. And of course, we won't import our biofuel from Brazil because we need to protect American interests. I'm not sure if that's bad or not for America, but it's certainly a dangerous path considering global food supplies.
So what does that mean to me? Well...maybe I should become a plant geneticist. Who knows?
So today, I'm in my Russian Film discussion section and we're discussing montages (thrilling) and of course, this is an opening for me to take out my laptop and start looking through the days news. Most of the stuff is election coverage, which can be interesting, but at this point, is also downright frustrating. Hillary Clinton's recent claim to be ahead in the popular vote provides the most recent example of the caricature of a good election campaign. She's wrong unless she's in her own Hillary-verse. To be honest, I've lost my patience with her and am looking forward to her being out of the picture come June (hopefully). Thankfully, The Daily Show and Colbert Report do their usual flawless job of skewering the nonsense that goes on during the election season.
That's small potatoes though. I'm not sure how I found this on Yahoo! of all place (it's still the first place I go for news), but there's a recent report from Foreign Affairs titled "How Biofuels Could Starve the Poor". The report is chilling. From what I understand of it (the authors clearly have a leg up on me), rising fuel prices have led to an increase in biofuel production. The government is providing subsidies for corn and soy grown for ethanol, which in turn encourages farmers big and small to grow the stuff. This does two things:
- Decreases the amount of corn available for consumption, raising the price of corn
- Decreased farmland available to grow other crops, including staples like wheat
This is not just a problem in the US, as many countries are seeking to decrease their dependence on oil and look to biofuels using staple crops to supplement their energy. Brazil is an exception because they use sugarcane - not a staple. The problem with that is that the increased demand for the grains raises the prices, which makes it more difficult for poor people to afford those same staple foods for their own nutrition. There's already unrest and riots around the world as prices rise, throwing governments into turmoil (Haiti's food riots have led to deaths and demands for the resignation of the Prime Minister). According to the report, if prices continue to rise and governments continue to turn to staple crops to produce biofuels (i.e. corn, rice, manioc, etc.), the prices of these foods will continue to rise until by 2025, they predict that about 1.2 billion people will be considered "chronically hungry" as they are simply unable to afford the basics.
Here's the kicker. There's no great reason why we need to use corn or soy to produce biofuels. In fact, there are more efficient sources for biofuel out there that can be pursued with some research. You can use grass, trees, anything of the sort to get the same effect. So why are we using corn and soy? We have the technology, so that's easy enough. But also, surprise surprise, there's plenty of special interests in the way of corn and soy growers and Archer Daniels Midland. Special interests pervade. And of course, we won't import our biofuel from Brazil because we need to protect American interests. I'm not sure if that's bad or not for America, but it's certainly a dangerous path considering global food supplies.
So what does that mean to me? Well...maybe I should become a plant geneticist. Who knows?
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